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Show Dogs Is Unfunny And Awful

Check out Bethany's review:

Bethany's Rating: -9
Submitted by Joel on Tue, 05/22/2018 - 12:02

This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's so unfunny, there were only a couple places that even slightly amused me, and even those were ruined later. For instance, there was a Turner and Hooch joke that I thought was clever, but then they literally explained it in the movie! Those that got it enjoyed it until the explanation, and those that didn't get it wouldn't hear them explaining it and think, "OH! NOW that is really funny!" Just terrible.

Show Dogs is about a police dog and an FBI agent working together. A baby panda is stolen and they have to work together in order to find it. They discover it's going to be sold at a dog show, so they have to work together. The human is mostly a bumbling idiot and the dog is some type of super dog. Anyway, they fight a lot, work it out, become buddies, etc. Typical stuff.

It's got the typical 'animals can talk' bits in it, but for some reason, there isn't like some secret animal society or something, like they usually do in these movies. So, it's our 'world' and humans act as if animals don't have this intelligence and communication ability, but the animals don't hide it at all. IT MAKES NO SENSE! Also, all the animals can perfectly communicate with all other animals, including humans, but we can't understand ANY of them. And they can use tools and technology and are smarter than we are. SO WHY AREN'T THEY ADVANCING SOCIETY?!! The animals constantly just get out of cages by entering a code or flipping the latch. So why would humans use them anymore? They befuddle the humans more than the animals in this movie! This should be more Planet of the Apes than anything with the humans in the cages. 

The writers don't even embrace what makes dogs different than humans. One scene, Max (the police dog) says to other dogs, "Do you see anything out of the ordinary?" Dogs don't have great sight. Why not ask if they SMELL anything out of the ordinary? Oh, wait, cuz that would derail your whole story, cuz Max didn't SEE the bad guy. But he absolutely could have SMELLED him! It's so dumb. So so dumb. Then smell suddenly works later cuz it was more convenient. Ugh. 

So, I didn't know about the controversy with this movie about the 'fondling' issue. In dog shows, the dogs are 'checked' for whatever reason. And apparently, adding this into the movie is just a way for kids to be ready to be molested, I guess? I mean, not the dog randomly biting people for no reason... that's not an issue. But apparently, these dogs voluntarily getting groped is teaching kids that they should be ok with being touched by pedophiles. I hate having to defend this awful movie, but I think that's a bunch of crap. First of all, it's based on reality at these shows. The writers probably decided to actually watch a dog show first and thought, "Oh! That will have to be addressed!" But MOST of all, the whole point of the movie is that the animals want to be there. Max is reluctant, but will in order to go undercover. He's told to 'go to your happy place' in order to overcome his reaction of attacking the person doing it. But he's doing it as part of the mission, not as some sick dog-groping thing. It's not sexual at all, so I don't understand adding sick sexuality into it. 

But there are all sorts of reasons not to take your kids to this movie. Mostly it's because it's just terrible terrible terrible. I mean, this dog is part of the NYPD and has NO HANDLER! No human can understand him, but he walks around the station alone with a badge and uniform on! THIS MOVIE MAKES NO SENSE!! AVOID IF YOU CAN!!