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Pandemic Paralysis

Submitted by Bethany on Wed, 05/20/2020 - 10:00

Has anyone else been feeling a bit...stuck, lately?

When I first learned we were going into lockdown I figured this would be a really good time to be productive. I even created a list on my phone called "Quarantine Activities" so I could remember everything I wanted to do. (I'm a big fan of making lists.)

I had lots of big ideas:

- get back into blogging regularly 

- start working again on my other writing projects

- read a ton, start catching up on my 2020 reading goals 

- start practicing French again

- play tons of Dominion (my favorite game) with Joel 

- meditate regularly

- do more yoga and other workouts besides walking

However, here's what I've actually managed to do under quarantine:

- binge-watch 9+ seasons of Doctor Who (We've even gone back to season 1 of the 1963 show! I am planning a whole blog post on my new Who obsession.)

- download multiple books from the library to my Kindle and keep them way past the return date because I haven't gotten around to reading them but I did figure out if I keep my Kindle in airplane mode they don't get taken away from me

- set up a game of Dominion that has now sat untouched on the coffee table for 3+ weeks 

- scroll through Facebook and Instagram incessantly even when they start showing me things I've already seen

- re-watch movies I've already seen as my attention span is too low for anything new 

- download a French podcast but not listen to it 

- order a dozen bottles of wine online for delivery (don't worry, that will last me a long time! lol)

I have managed to keep up with my part-time actual job - I go into the church three days a week to work with the food bank and I've been editing all of our worship videos, creating and maintaining a YouTube channel, and running other social media. So my paralysis hasn't extended to where I really absolutely have to be productive. But it has struck hard in my personal time. I can sit there knowing what I would rather be doing (reading, writing, playing a game, etc.) but I just can't bring myself to do anything other than scroll on my phone. 

I've seen a lot of articles about how the stress of the pandemic is affecting people and that this feeling of being stuck/unproductive/whatever is a pretty normal response. That is comforting. So I guess I'm just writing this to say, if you are feeling the same way, you are not alone. 

I feel like I'm slowly starting to come out of the fog. This is my second blog post this week and I finally have ideas for more! (I didn't write any for quite a while because I literally couldn't think of anything to write about...) I have managed to finish a few books and am currently reading some that aren't just easy mysteries though it's still taking me quite a bit longer to read than it normally would and I find myself taking a lot of breaks to think in ways that I didn't have to before. 

So how have you been doing in quarantine? Accomplishing all your goals? Accomplishing nothing but sitting on the couch? Some mix of both? I'd love to hear! 

XOXO, Bethany



Your thoughts?

I've been there too - I'm still going into work as usual as an essential worker, so my "must be productive" time has still been productive but the rest has been like my brain is moving through molasses. Animal Crossing has been my version of your Doctor Who marathon. My attempt to push through has been trying to get myself to create art again. 

You have definitely had a lot more stress on you as an essential worker! I am so proud of you and the work you are doing. Art has worked well for me too - I have folded a lot of paper cranes during all that Doctor Who watching! What kind of art are you creating?