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I'm Boycotting Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker. Here's Why.

Submitted by Joel on Thu, 01/16/2020 - 16:50

I (used to) LOVE Star Wars. I waited in line for the re-releases in theaters. I bought the box sets. I played with the toys as a kid (and sometimes as an older kid). I truly and deeply LOVED Star Wars!

But then came the special edition sets and they got a little less good. Greedo shooting first? Han walking all over Jabba? These weren't just different... they were worse. Sure, there were a couple of improvements, like the scene where Luke is talking to his buddy from back home, but mostly, it was just worse. They didn't seem to think it through. They added a lot of crappy campy junk to it for no reason. But I still liked it. I rolled my eyes when the one robot bonks the other robot on the head for no reason, but it was still an epic story that was enjoyable to watch.

I still loved Star Wars so much that we waited in line for tickets for Episode 1 and then to get seats (NUMBER ONE! Center of the theater!) And then... we saw it. What was that? Were we just tired from staying up for the midnight huge event? Was there really a giant mentally challenged rabbit in half of the scenes?

Ok, we thought. Let's get some sleep and try it again. Nope, still not great. We warned our friends... "It's not bad, but be ready for the worst Star Wars character of all time... Jar Jar Binks. Just... be ready and try to ignore it." Later they'd thank us for the heads up and that they enjoyed it more than their friends that weren't warned about this "Jar"ring character. We saw Episode 1 three times the day it was released in the three best theaters in Des Moines. They got us good.

We weren't as excited for Episode 2, to say the least. We saw it opening weekend. It was... not great.

Episode 3 I specifically wouldn't watch the opening week, but I saw it. A family member got me the DVD as a Christmas gift. I never opened it.

But then, Star Wars was getting a new lease on life! Disney bought it and they've been doing some awesome things with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so this is gonna be great! But I still had my doubts. No waiting in line. I'll see it when I see it. Which was opening weekend.

It was not great. Who was the First Order? Why did the rebellion just turn into the resistance? Still stormtroopers? Many of the scenes were stolen directly from A New Hope! What did they do to HAN? He was a GENERAL OF THE REBELLION! HIS WHOLE STORY LINE HAS BEEN TOSSED AWAY FOR SOME STUPID JOKES?!!! Ok, I'm done. Disney just made Star Wars even worse.

But then Rogue One came out. And it was good! Like, I REALLY liked it! Great job, guys! It's gritty and dark. There aren't any cartoon rabbits. It's familiar, yet new. I'm into this! Maybe they'll get something going with Episode 8 and bring it back!

Episode 8 was not great. More campiness. Things built up in Episode 7 (The Force Awakens) were just tossed aside (LITERALLY). There was no cohesive story line. Characters did stupid things. Almost NOTHING in the movie made any sense!! UGH!!! ARGH!! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME!

So then SOLO came out, and it was pretty fun. Not great, but good.

Then the stories started coming out about Rise of Skywalker. Problems with the story and in-fighting. And I just thought... I'm done. There's really no way the person that totally screwed up The Force Awakens can fix this after The Last Jedi crapped all over it. I'll wait for it to release and I'll watch some reviews. 

Yeah, just as I thought. The story makes no sense, the characters do dumb things, there are more stupid jokes... so I decided to just watch full spoiler reviews and never see the movie in full. What's the point? They don't deserve my money. 

The original trilogy no longer makes any sense with the rest of the story. I just don't enjoy it anymore. Watching A New Hope... "I don't remember owning any droids..." WHAT?!! They were INTEGRAL to your survival TIME AFTER TIME AFTER TIME!! "You fought with my father in the Clone Wars..." NO HE DIDN'T! YOUR FATHER WAS A DIPLOMAT!! "What are the Jedi?" The galaxy-wide police force that were destroyed just FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!! I mean, can you imagine forgetting about World War 2 by 1960?! IT'S SO STUPID!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH! 

... I'm ok.

Can Star Wars ever be redeemed for me? I doubt it. They'd have to reboot it, to be honest. And they probably shouldn't do that, either. Just let it die. It's already dead to me.